Asra's Drunken Escapades
by Delancey Delacroix
Summary: The great magician, Asra, always exudes a (frustratingly) mysterious aura that no one can could ever understand. What happens when you use "Asra," and "drinking" in one sentence? Hilarity. This is a collection of one-shots.


p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""Ilya, look it's my Little Beasty!" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"Julian hitched him up higher on his shoulder and looked to where Asra was pointing. He huffed. Who knew drunk Magicians were so damn heavy? "That's a pile of hay, Asra."/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""Nooooo," he whined. "That's my pet! We should ride him." Asra stumbled out of his grasp and plopped himself stomach-first onto the pile of hay. "Oooh, he's soft." He rubbed his face deeper into the pile. "Why is he scratchy? He isn't supposed to be scratchy. Ilya! My pet is scratchy."/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"Julian pinched the spot between his eyebrows. He could feel the beginnings of a terrible headache coming along. This was the third time they'd stopped, thanks to the wonderful world as seen by a very drunk Magician. On and on, he went about the mesmerizing colour of his apprentice's eyes ("It's like brown, green, red, blue, yellow, black, grey, and pink paint mixed together to create... brown. But it's not really brown. It's like pu-pur-p-pur-violet or red. COLORSFUL!"). Before that, it was a water hose that looked like Faust ("Hello Faust, I knew you loved sunbathing." Julian had looked at the bright, full moon above them in disbelief). /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"It was final. Julian was never taking Asra to the Rowdy Raven for a drink ever again. He stood over the still-flailing Magician and shook his head. /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"Two drinks. Just emtwo/em drinks of mead infused with the venom of a tongue-eyed bat and the poor sod was knocked hard on his ass. He rolled his eyes. If Asra spent the amount of time he lovingly gazed at his apprentice to get his tolerance level up, they wouldn't be in this mess. /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"emThe apprentice./em/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"Julian's eyes widened. If there was one way to get Asra back on his feet, it was Kate. But it was a risk; Asra's magical apprentice was almost as good as him—almost because she tended to draw too much energy from emotions, resulting in rather... emexplosive/em circumstances. And right now, it wasn't a risk he was willing to take. Kate would have his behind—and it was a really nice behind—if she found Asra this way./p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;"He knelt down beside Asra and gently pried a piece of hay away from his mouth. "Asra," he said gently./p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""Ilya," he replied, attempting to mimic Julian's voice and failing miserably. He gave him a dazed grin instead. /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""I need you to get up before your apprentice finds you in this condition," Julian told him in a tone he would use to speak to a child in his care. /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""But they're too far awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," he prolonged the last word and sank face first into the hay, much to Julian's annoyance. /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""You and your apprentice are linked. She'll know when you're in trouble. Please get up."/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""No!" he called out like a petulant child./p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""Asra, I need you to get up before your apprentice gets h—"/p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545;""Before his apprentice gets where?" A melodic voice laced with the tiniest hint of ice said from behind him./p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; color: #454545; min-height: 14px;"Asra started snoring into the hay with a smile on his face. "Yay," he sighed./p 


End file.
